Tuesday, July 19, 2011

New Shoes & Some Chatter

Do you like my new shoes? (Yes, more new shoes!) I snapped them up in the ASOS sale last week after lusting after them for agees! The straps are a PITA to do up & undo though, but they are so cute! I am a firm believer that nothing can have too many bows, although I should imagine some of you disagree :P

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On another note...
A reader asked me today to make a post about how I live with/accept my body just the way it is. I think this is quite an interesting topic of discussion, & not something I have really gone into on this blog, preferring to keep it a lighter mix of shopping wish lists, reviews & outfit posts (I know you all think I'm shallow, haha!). To be honest, I don't really like to be too personal here, I know everybody thinks I am confident, etc just because I wear the colourful clothes I do, but in reality I am very different. Those you you who have met me at blogger events probably already know this, but I actually am extremely shy, & not very confident at all. I'm not even sure that confidence & being able to dress eccentrically even have anything to do with each other, for me at least.

Despite this, accepting my body came fairly easily for me, even though it wasn't something I had ever thought about before. I was just another girl who had been trained that fat=bad, skinny=good. Once I discovered the online community of fat acceptance, I began to realise how hating myself for being fat didn't help me to become more accepted in mainstream society & media, it just made me hate me, which obviously didn't make me any happier. So I decided to just accept myself the way I was, & start being visible & dressing the way I wanted to dress.

Just because I accept myself doesn't mean I am happy with everything about me, far from it. In fact, I probably make no sense at all to anyone, because I still have issues with a lot of things about myself, but I can still post outfit posts & not care about what people say anymore in regards to my weight. In fact, a lot of the links to this blog are through sites that do nothing but comment on my weight & criticise me for it but I tend to just ignore them now. I don't really know how to explain it.

Sometimes I feel dishonest when I blog, because although I no longer mind if people know I am fat, I do mind other things, & photoshop them out, or don't discuss them. Natalie discussed similar things in her post here, & I feel the same way, torn! I look up to Natalie, because she has been so honest about her life & experiences on her blog, & I wish I could do the same. I guess being fat used to be one of the things I hated about myself, & I've managed to overcome that, so maybe one day I will be able to overcome the other issues I have with myself. Accepting my weight just put me on a path 1 step closer to accepting all of me. I'm not there yet.

I know this didn't really answer the original question very well, but I think it shows true self acceptance is difficult to obtain & will probably always be a work in progress, for me at least.

30 comments:

  1. I know what you mean Georgina! I accept myself, but I would like to improve myself (as in get healthy!). I've learned to live with being fat, and it isn't easy! I've always felt like I was an outsider looking in, and now that I've found an online community, those feelings have lessen but they're still there. I guess my "fat issues" will never go away, but I'm learning to deal with them, and not let them affect me on a daily basis.

    So you shouldn't feel like you're being dishonest when you blog. You're entitled to your privacy, and at the end of the day, it's your blog!

    Thank you for sharing!
    <3

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  2. I used to be fatphobic.
    Luckily, I changed a few months back, and by accepting that people come in different shapes and sizes I started being more comfortable with my own body as well. I think body positivity is incredibly important, fat-shaming and skinny-shaming are both awful problems that need to be dealt with.

    I think we're brought up in an environment that encourages a negative body image - just the other day a person I know complained about how they were "too big" to wear the clothes they wanted, and I felt so uncomfortable. I felt like I was expected to make similar complaints about my own body, and that sort of thinking is just bad for you. It's like we're supposed to hate the way we look, or something's wrong with us.

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  3. I think these shoes are very cute. Nice ones! I have always considered mary janes to be my favorite feminine shoes.

    Georgina, when I first visited "Cupcake's Clothes," I visited because I was looking for blogs of many fashionable and lovely ladies. You are one of them, and this blog is one of those lovely blogs. Trust me when I say this- you are one of the most beautiful women (young or old, slender or curvy, tall or short, etc.) anywhere in the world. Acceptance is always a sign of strength. Either you can dislike certain things about yourself, or you can accept who you are and celebrate who you are regardless of what anyone thinks. I think you are a beautiful young lady with an even more beautiful persona. If others think otherwise, that's THEIR problem. They're too dumb and insecure to realize and/or recognize your beauty. Always be strong and confident. Not sure how many male readers you get here, but I certainly think you are a beautiful and charming lady. Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise.

    Having said this, keep up the great work with "Cupcake's Clothes!"

    johnbmarine.blogspot.com

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  4. I think that you are more of an inspiration than you realize.
    Your posts are so fun and brighten my day every day.
    As a plus sized girl myself, I see you, and feel inspired that you find clothes that you love in your size, and show them to the world. Every time I shop, I feel discouraged because I don't feel like I fit in. Ever since I started reading your blog, I feel a little better about my clothes because I see you taking on a unique style and completely rocking it!
    You are amazing!
    xox
    Kerri

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  5. Very cute shoes.

    Aww I love what you said here although it makes me incredibly angry that someone would ask you how you "live with" and accept your body, you're beautiful and you should be happy with yourself and anyone who would question your confidence or acceptance of who you are is completely wrong.

    I understand everything you said here, I've struggled with accepting my looks/body since I was 4 years old and there are days where I cannot stand to look at myself. As I get older, there are more and more days when I realize I don't have to hate myself and I won't do it anymore.

    It is no ones business but your own if you're happy with your body or choices, if someone makes it their business than they probably are projecting their own insecurities.

    I hate how much people, especially women, are taught to tear themselves and others down. You are beautiful, have great taste in clothes, and you work it girl. Don't let anyone bring you down.

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  6. Beutiful shoes!
    Love

    Visite-me:
    http://sujeitoamudancaseou.blogspot.com/

    ♥ beijos

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  7. Hi .o/!

    I've been always here to see the lovely work and outfits you make.

    I don't know if it can make you a little happier, but I think you're a lovely example of a cute and talented girl that makes my life a little more colorful and happy through your posts ;D

    I think that people who just critique your body without even knowing you really doesn't need your attencion. You're beautiful from body to soul, and that's what really matters. They're the ones with real problems here. xP

    Hope you have a nice week ^^

    Tati

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  8. Georgina,

    Hey, you inspire a lot of people, so I hope questions like that won't put you down. It's true that people come in all shapes and sizes (color even), but being one doesn't make the other lesser or greater.

    What I learn about this blog is to appreciate every kind of human and to just be happy with how they choose to live their lives. For me, ugly are those who have nothing good to say but judge people on the outside.

    Stay happy and confident!

    Love,
    Nini

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  9. I totally get what you mean, George.
    Just keep being you. I'll be a loyal reader to the end. (I have been since Fatshionista!)

    xo

    Gazel

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    CHECK OUT

    http://www.anetesdomas.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think I can understand what you mean quite well, as I feel pretty much the same about it. Maybe it is a bit like I accepted it for me and I don't give a shit about what people think or say, but that doesn't mean that I am super confident or that there aren't moment where I think I can't do this or that.

    But maybe this just shows that being confident isn't always related to the way we look, it is something that comes from deep down. It doesn't matter if we are skinny or fat, if we aren't confident loosing or gaining weight won't change a thing about it. You get what I am trying to say? ^^

    Also I have to say that I find your postings always really inspiring, just like I really like your blog and always thought it is kind of refreshing to see a fat girl dressing like she wants but doesn't really talk about it. Not that I don't enjoy reading blogs where this "being fat" is the main topic, but here it always feels like, it really doesn't matter what body type you have, it is about cute clothes and cute stuff and you. And this is something I really enjoy!

    <3

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  12. Firstly, I love the shoes, and they're so you :)

    Thank you for mentioning the other F word and what it means to you. I'm probably about the same size as you and have blogged recently about confidence whatever your size, but followed that up with a post where I said I need to lose weight, so I guess I'm confused too :S

    There are so many reasons why a person may be overweight - ill health which prevents someone from exercising freely, or emotional reasons. It annoys me when slim people say 'eat less and do more' because it's much more deep seated than that. I eat my emotions and always have. I piled on weight after the first of 2 ectopic pregnancies, and 6 months after the second one I have to say I can't carry on like this any more.

    I won't love myself any more for losing a bit of weight because I think it's wrong to invest so much in looks, but I will feel better for it as I'm not in the best of health, and it does exacerbate some of my health issues.

    I love your blog and envy your style! I don't follow your blog because you're a stylish fat girl, you're a stylish girl full stop, and the fact that you look a lot more like my body shape than a lot of other fashion bloggers is just an added bonus ;) x

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  13. Hi Georgina,
    I think it's been wonderful that you've been so honest and tried to answer your commenters questions the best you can. I subscribe to many fashion blogs which show all shapes and sizes, and yours is one of my favourites. I love your style! And I don't think you're shallow at all, in face I like the fact that you didn't feel the need to justify yourself. You just are, and that's a great thing.
    I'm 35 years old, and I wish like anything the internet had been around when I was your age. (That makes me sound like a granny, but I don't feel old at all!) I feel like I'm only starting on my journey of accepting myself and still have a lot of work to do. Seeing blogs like yours helps more than you know.
    I guess what I'm saying in short is - you're wonderful, and just keep on doing what you're doing!
    xx Katie.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cute shoes, Lovely post!

    http://chicgeekblogger.blogspot.com/

    Please take a minute to look at my vintage boutique;

    http://bitsforboffins.bigcartel.com/

    http://iouproject.com/tsh/jessica-karen/

    ReplyDelete
  15. Beautiful shoes! I actually wanted to buy them myself but they didn't have my size :( Lucky you.

    I'm glad that you can accept your size, and so you should, you're absolutely gorgeous just the way you are. And don't worry about not being able to accept everything about yourself, I doubt anyone is 100% happy with their bodies. As for photoshopping who cares, you're not being dishonest, it's your blog you can post what you want! Though I'm sure you'd be just as beautiful without it. If I had the skills I would absolutely photoshop away a lot of stuff :P

    Also I'm the same as you in a way, I dress very excentrically and people always say 'oh you're not shy! You must be so confident to wear those things' when in reality I'm terrified of people and have very low self esteem and self confidence, I just like silly clothes.

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  16. Hey G :)
    so i ran into your blog for the first time and i must say that it is pretty inspiring :)
    thnx for being that honest, i really enjoyed reading that!
    so i defenetely keep up in reading your blog.

    thnx, milana

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  17. What appalls me so much here is that there exist other human beings who will reduce you to a set of figures and presumptions without considering your feelings, and your self worth.
    Your humility s refreshing, and I must admit that whenever i visit here i perceive the entire 'you', not your body shape as a primary feature. And it is still just another aspect of the whole, in the same way as your hair colour or your chosen shoes, to me. Ultimately it is YOUR business, and your body, and nobody else can love or care for or understand it the way you do. It is personal, and precious, and nobody else's to criticize.. I hope you can learn to enjoy it even more xxx

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  18. It's great that you're satisfied with yourself...I have 123 pounds and I'm not satisfied...but I don't understand, how can you be satisfied since you're putting yourself in such a health risk especially at such age!...You have a cute style, nice face so I don't understand you and your point of view...

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  19. Girl, you're cute. You dress with a flair that not many girls smaller than you have. I'm a US dress size 12 (UK 14) and I have not found the courage to wear what I love until lately. You are one of the people who has given me that courage.

    Cheers, and you keep doing what you're doing, darling!

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  20. Thank you for the lovely things you wrote about me, you are a strong fabulous person and the pressures that are placed on us as women (and that we then place on ourselves!) are all pervasive. You're doing well to navigate through your own body image stuff and being so honest and open about it on your blog!

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  21. I think you're insanely pretty, and I also think you capture the light, fun spirit you seek to put forth perfectly. I've followed this blog for a while and have always found it delightful and upbeat. Thanks for all you do and all you are.

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  22. Renata, you have absolutely no idea how to determine a persons health via their size alone. And why does someone elses health concern you so much?

    It appears that the great media machine has managed to manipulate you into a frenzied terror of the flesh, and since you admit that you think 123lbs is still too large, I would possibly consider a little counseling. Good luck! Remember, the mind needs taking care of, too!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I believe that all of us are eternally works in progress. To say that we're all "cured" of self consciousness and lack of confidence is selling a false hope to others.

    Instead, the honesty you have shown here, and that many others show as well, helps others realise that it's all a process and the best thing we can do, in the words of a small blue fish, is "Just keep swimming."

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  24. Little ghost she didn't say she was fat and ugly, she said she was worried about her health. And to me that is a very nice thing to be concerned about.

    I think you are a strong woman and have a beautiful blog and seams like the nicest of persons! Just keep your health good and I don't care how you look or how big you are. I just care that you are healthy and happy:)

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  25. I did not imply anywhere that Renata said anyone was fat or ugly, I merely suggested that it is not wise to presume ill health based upon bodyweight alone.

    But do tell me why strangers on the internet express so much concern over fat people's health? Why do they care? What inspires their comments, and why is it considered 'nice'?
    Please do not take this as a confrontation, I am genuinely puzzled by this body policing trend.

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  26. little ghost: When I said that I wasn't satisfied it doesn't automatically mean that I wanna weight less(And I really don't! I only said that it's nice to be satisfied with ourselves...and that's why I said I wasn't satistied with myself, because I only want to strengthen my muscles!- I didn't say that 123pounds is too much-and I really don't think it's large at all. I'm not insane)
    And again I didn't say she was unhealty ...I said that I don't understand, how can Georgina be satistied since she know (or I suppose she knows that) that she's more endangered with more diseases... (I'm from a familly full of doctors and nurses so ofcourse I'm influenced by them but not by massmedia). So I don't care if Georgina's fat or not(she has a cute style and she's a really tallented in designing and sewing stuff)...I just said that I couldn't imagine beign satisfied...
    So I wasn't policing anyone, I just said my opinion...
    (sorry for my English, I hope you'll understand what I was trying to say...)

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  27. Your readers are beautiful people for posting what they do. They make GMH look like FML!

    I know a lot of people though that think, "Oh, I like you even if you're the weight you are," or, "I like you regardless of your weight." But y'know what? I like it. It's a part of you, and since I like you (no homo), I like your weight. I mean, of course no one's perfect. That's ridiculous. And flaws vary from person to person, but I don't think it's your flaw here (some childhood pocket-pinching or lying mayhaps? ;P). Truth be told, I found your blog when I began taking a fashion class, and I found you so lovely that I wanted to try to design a dress for you and ask you to review it! (I'm working on it! XD)

    Your style is amazing and cute, and it really reminds me of sweet things or just pure, unadulterated childhood. And though I think there should be more style blogs out there that should embrace--not ignore--the invisible body-image elephant in the room, I gladly respect you if you wanted to keep this as a purely style/lifestyle blog. I think others should too. (If this is about health though, that's a WHOLE different can of worms.)

    I can't say anything that anyone else has said before: you're beautiful despite what they say, don't listen to those haters when you got us, et cetera, et cetera. But if so many people are going on about it, it's gotta be fact--no-LAW, right?

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  28. Good on you, lady. If people don't want to look at you they don't have to! Personally I couldn't give two hoots about your size, i just stumbled across your blog and i'm awed by your style, so *I* certainly would like to look :)

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  29. i think it is brave what you do, but i don't understand one thing; why don't you lose weight? and than i mean for your health.. because you don't have to be skinny, you are beautiful just the way you are now, but you body isn't healthy.. do you have any idea of all the riscs?

    (i'm sorry for my english, i'm dutch)

    ReplyDelete

Hi, thanks for commenting! I read every comment I recieve & if you have a question I do my best to reply. However you might find it quicker to reach me by my Twitter @cupcakesloveme. Have a nice day! :D xx

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